Overcoming Darkness

This past weekend, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints had its 185th General Conference, which happens biannually and allows members from all around the world to hear from the leaders of the church and receive the guidance needed to continue forward in a crazy world. It is eight hours of listening to these inspired speakers spread over two days. On my mission, I think I really learned how awesome General Conference can be, and how it really can help us to shape our lives if we allow it to. I learned that if we come prepared with questions that we can really find personal answers and know what to work on.

This year, I feel like the theme of the speakers for me was joy and overcoming darkness, which was exactly what I needed and what I had asked questions about. I never knew how hard coming home from a mission would be; it has probably been the second biggest growing period for me after my mission itself. Growing is great though, as you notice the mercy and hand of God in your life so much more.

Here are a few of the quotes that I liked from conference:

• From President Dieter F. Uchtdorf when we are not feeling that joy (satisfaction through the gospel): "Start where you are. Sometimes we get depressed when we feel like we need to be more. God will take you as you are. He does not give up on us, because He sees us as who we will become." 
• From Sister Neill F. Marriott: "If we earnestly appeal to God, He takes us as we are - and makes us more than we ever imagined. Healing of our hearts begins when we turn it to God. We do not just try and try on our own. God takes us how we are."  
• From President Thomas S. Monson: "Sometimes with all the trials of life, our light may dim, but through the help of Heavenly Father and others, we can brighten that light and then share it with others."  

I think back on my mission on my own personal hard days or on the hard, dark days of investigators, members, or random strangers. What tended to get us through was prayer and feeling the love of God and of others. I remember a random man we contacted outside his apartment who was drinking. We went up to him, sat down, and tried talking to him. At first, he was quiet, but as we began to learn about all of his trials, he opened up and we were able to have an amazing conversation about God's love and Christ's power. I saw a man filled with darkness and sadness begin to find a little bit more light in his life. At the end, he dumped out the rest of his alcohol that he had been drinking, dedicated to changing. 

This week, I had some of those dark days. It is midterm time here already, and I was feeling very stressed and very insufficient. Though so hard, those dark days are teaching me so much. I think all in all, I am learning that the gospel is really designed to help us. I usually try praying and also listening to various hymns, or watching videos produced by the church. Secondly, my gratitude cannot be expressed enough for the angel friends and family I have around me that lift me up and bring me light. I always leave happier after I am with them. 

The solution sounds simple: Center our lives on Christ and we can find the light we seek. However, there is a lot that goes into that, and as I am currently learning, it is a day by day process and fight. I think that is how it should be though; the best things are the things that we work for. 

Two of my very best friends - we went to women's conference together in Salt Lake last Saturday! 

We had a mission reunion on Friday! Here's some of the missionaries that served in Owensboro (my first area)

In every mission email that I would send home to my family, I would include a list of the things that made me smile. I usually had at least one thing from everyday, which would make the hard days easier. So I thought I should do that here: 

• After walking across campus in the pouring rain (umbrella and coatless, mind you) to go take a test, I arrived drenched at the Testing Center to find the line out the door, meaning I would have to continue standing in the rain. The guy in front of me in line took one look at me and immediately started taking off his hooded raincoat and gave it to me to wear until we got back inside. Thank you random stranger! 
• Getting Salted Caramel cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory after women's conference!
• Seeing all my friends from my mission. I am lucky they are in my life! They are hilarious. 

Until next time, y'all!